Hijaabless head

A recent email reminds me of the times I get asked by people if they can see my hair. I think it was last year that I was on MSN chatting to a guy…He had already seen my photo on shaadi dot com, and after the initial Salaam and stuff, about 3 minutes in he asked if he could see my picture. I had explained that it was on the site, in my gallery. He said he would like to see one of me without hijaab, did I have any? I told him that I did, but I felt it was far too early for me to do that, I hardly knew him. God he was so insistent, he must have asked at least ten times. I asked why it was important. And he said that ‘I need to know how you look without your scarf, how different you look without it, so I can make a decision about marrying you’. (And yes I knew he wasn’t a keeper by this point) The good thing about MSN, is that people can’t see you make faces and shout at them. I finally told him that he should quit asking as I wasn’t going to change my mind. He replied by telling me I was being very stubborn, and awkward. And that it’s only fair that a man wishing to pursue marriage to get to see the whole package before making a decision. (Everybody loves a trier)

Was it genuine curiousity? I’m not sure, it’s not like he hadn’t seen my picture, so knew what I looked like.

I recall reading that a woman’s face and hands should be viewed. Her face tells her beauty, and her hands reveal the physical aspect of her body: plump, slender, bony.

The thing is, if I was seriously chatting to somebody, and things were looking promising, if they asked to see my hijaabless head, which sounds a bit Halloweeny…I would grant their request. I’m not going to sweat the small stuff, I don’t consider it that big a deal. Actually to be fair, in my previous relationships it was  a non-issue, they hadn’t asked, and when they did eventually see photos of me sans-scarf it didn’t change anything. Except the lie I told about being bald, and using my hijaab as wrinkle prevention was found out.

‘To see what your hair looks like’  Do guys have any idea how silly that sounds?

If somebody gave me a original, inventive reason for their request, I would consider sending a picture of my shorn locks after I’ve visited the hairdresser. For now though, I’m sticking to the ‘I can’t show you my hair because I never really outgrew my troll obsession, and my hair is dyed a shocking pink’


~ by Honest Waffle on 29/10/2009.

4 Responses to “Hijaabless head”

  1. Thrill seeker perhaps? Would it have massaged his ego had I acquiesced?

  2. I’m liking your tags.:)

  3. I’m no expert, but I thought a potential suitor had the right to view a suitee (?) at least once without a hijab before proposing? I’ve no idea about the timescales, but I assume there isn’t one.

    Of course, politeness overrides any right to see. But still.

  4. Shak – But if you go by what is purdah for women, with regards to non-mehrams, then I’m guessing that hair isn’t part of that? And would you really base a proposal on somebody’s hair?

    Asking within the first 5 minutes though is definitely pushing it.

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