The yearly ritual

So it’s that time of year again, people preparing to leave for Hajj Inshallah. I’ve had a few mass text and emails asking for forgiveness.

I saw a FB status update a few weeks ago from one of my ‘friends’, a guy I’ve known for a while, I used to be really close with his cousin and that’s how we got introduced, and my family met their family at weddings etc…you know how it goes.

It said ‘__________ is off too HAJJ on Saturday 14/11/2009 and is asking if he has intentionally or unintentionally hurt anyone or hurt anyone’s feeling then I ask for forgiveness.’

I didn’t think much of it, because I’ve noticed a few similar updates.

Now this guy tends to annoy me quite a lot, and usually thinks without speaking. I’ve called him on it a few times, and asked him to be a bit nicer and considerate. His attempts at humour about my single status are deeply unfunny.

So today I get a message in my mailbox. ‘have you not read my profile status. im asking for forgiveness. LoL.’

(Lolling at own stuff that isn’t even lolworthy annoys me too)

So I said that yes I had read it, and he asked me where is my reply. I asked him why he felt the need to send me a personal message? He said ‘because on my profile i have made a general comment and thus as you re always on facebook and not even stated well done or hope it all goes well i thought it as best to send you an individual message like i have sent to others aswell. so what i wnt to know is what is the problem as i strongly now believe there is one and the last thing i want before i go is to have this on my head so please..’

Now, I don’t think there is a problem, but I said enjoy your Hajj and pray for me.

But what if you don’t actually feel like forgiving somebody? Are they merely asking because they are off to the Holy land and want to leave with a clean slate? Because it’s the done thing? Are they even sincere? Is it like eating what you want, and taking laxatives later? (not that there is anything wrong with the sh*t yourself thin diet)

Perhaps if people were more careful about their general conduct, I wouldn’t feel that way. Engaging the brain before putting your mouth in gear? I mean I know I’m bad for putting my foot in my mouth, like that time I told a guy (ponential partner) I would like to marry an orphan, so I wouldn’t have to worry about a mother-in-law, and then he told me his Mum had cancer.

Sorry seemed so lame.

I do like to think as I get older I think more carefully about what I say,and my conduct, and hopefully I’m less likely to offend or upset people (although I will do almost anything for a laugh) But if I do mess up I will do everything I can to fix it.


~ by Honest Waffle on 10/11/2009.

5 Responses to “The yearly ritual”

  1. Perhaps it’s worth seeing being asked for forgiveness as an opportunity for yourself to forgive rather than the requester to be forgiven? Most things that require forgiveness could have probably been avoided, so that shouldn’t make a difference really.

    I say this as a pretty unforgiving chap myself.

    As an aside without tooting my horn too much I pioneered the whole mass-virtual-apology-before-Hajj way back in 2002. Nice to see people catching up 🙂

    • Shak – I often don’t think it’s sincere, what about when they say it without actually meaning it? I’m not one to hold grudges, if peopel admit mistakes then it’s all cool, as I think life is too short (although I do contradict this rule too) although my 3 strikes rule is being enforced a lot more these days. And mass Ramadan and Eid texting annoys me too, especially when people have the cheek to moan that the holy month is coming.

  2. Well the whole “If I’ve done anything…” begs the the questions. “What you weren’t there? you don’t know what you’ve done? You don’t know the difference between right and wrong?” It implies that the person may have done nothing wrong but we just think they did. It’s like an apology that one had to ask for. You’d rather the person didn’t bother. They should just leave it alone and get on with life rather than dragging people back through some insincere ritual.

    • Gosh you lot are harsh :D. Major things should be specified, of course… but the minor things we’re not aware of having done can be blanket forgiven too surely? And the forgiver doesn’t have to merely say “I forgive you” and leave it there but can say exactly what the issue was if they like.

  3. this made me laff. thank you 🙂

    on a more serious note – you have to forgive him. think about when you ask Allah for forgiveness. we’re not greater than that.

    you dont have to love him, just find it in your heart to let go of the effect of his obnoxiousness, he’s clearly not aware… lots of jokes about someone else’s condition actually come from a sort of low place anyway.

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