The recommendation

You do indeed form an impression of somebody within just a few minutes.

So you know how I had said the guys that had contacted me, their names all began with A?

Well a few days ago my Mum told me about some Auntie Jee who had mentioned a guy to her, and surprise surprise his name also begins with the letter A. All I was told was his name, his height and what he did. And of course that he was from a really good family, and they were very wealthy. My Mum asked me if she could pass on my phone number, and the Auntie Jee also said that we should be prepared to make the effort if needs be to come and see the boy in Manchester, as we live quite far, and the boys Mum thought it was a long distance to travel.

So yesterday the home phone rings, and it’s the Auntie Jee telling my Mum that he’s been trying to call me and my phone is switched off (my battery had actually died) So Mum says she will get me to ‘open my phone’ I then plug in my charger, and power up my mobile, and after five or so minutes the phone rings.

The Auntie Jee rishta route is a one I’ve not done for a while. When you are introduced through a mutual friend you can usually start off by talking about said friend, and even if it’s through the internet you have that as a common point, like say your profile etc.

I did the usual Salaam, and apologised for my phone being switched off, and said thanks for phoning…I asked how he was and he said the same. I said that this was a little awkward so to feel free to ask anything he wanted to know. He responded by saying that, you should ask what you want. So I asked his age, and what he did…something in menswear, so I asked what he studied, and he said Law. I asked why he didn’t go into Law as a career, and he said he got bored of it. I asked him his height ( I was told it was 5’8″) he said he was 5’5″. I asked a few more questions, and he said, you answer it first…after the first 3, I said that I asked first (with a part laugh to assure him I was kidding) Yes, he says , but I’m going to ask you it back, so you may as well just answer now.  I just felt like he wasn’t making an effort, and on these set-ups I’m more conscious of being careful, and nice etc because it’s through a third-party (not that I’m not usually nice) but I don’t want somebody to say anything about my conduct, or word get back to my Mum that I was being a smartarse, and not trying. I asked about religiousness, and he said I should answer first, and then he said ‘what’s the deal with your hijaab?’  I asked what he meant, and he said ‘well I was told that you wear it, and you don’t. So can you explain yourself?’ I was a bit thrown by this…so I explained that I wear it whilst out, but don’t generally wear it at home, as it’s just myself and my parents. He then said that, that what was the Auntie Jee had told him.

I’m not sure whether this Auntie Jee hasn’t been able to communicate effectively, or what the case is, but I felt a bit annoyed. He went on to say that I should see his picture, and asked for my email address, which I gave. He also told me that it wasn’t a great picture.

I also asked about his family, any siblings? Yes there were a few, he said his Mum lived by herself, and he was very close to her. Oh, and his Dad was around too. I asked about his living situation, and he was staying with a friend, and he hadn’t been able to see his Mum recently because he had been busy, and well, you know how it is.

I wisely kept my mouth shut.

Anyway, after I got off the phone, I told my Mum what had happened, and asked her to please clarify to said Auntie Jee about my hijaab situation, and to ensure she had the right info about me. Of course my Mum expectantly asked what I thought of him, and I said I don’t think so…he’s too short, and I didn’t ‘gel’ (this is my new buzz word when I’m talking to my Mum about potential partners) And our religious ideals aren’t compatible.

And look I know I’m short, but I don’t want to marry a guy who is the same height as me when I wear my heels. Of course if he does ever email his picture, and he’s really good-looking then of course that tickbox goes right out of the window.


~ by Honest Waffle on 06/12/2009.

5 Responses to “The recommendation”

  1. same here… my face would draw a blank once he said something about “menswear” instead of “law firm”. wtf did he waste 5yrs degree for, then?
    his description of being “close” to his mum is… interesting, to say the least. i think the guy needs a whole dictionary intended just for him.
    but where i would have shut the phone is his living standards; or, maybe i would have shut it earlier? the law/menswear thing still irritates me… bleauh!

  2. S&F – Once he said he got bored of it I didn’t want to ask further. How guys treat their parents is really important to me, for a variety of reasons, and even if everything else was perfect, and he lacked in that department it would be a no.

    • same. even in relationships with other people, e.g. new friends. i become very disgusting with anyone once i find out that they are the type who use their parents for humour’s sake. i just don’t get them…. at all.

  3. your mum understands about “gel”ing?


  4. Yeah. I explained it to her by saying ‘bunti nahin hai’

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