The nikaahfied engagement

What are peoples views on these? Having your nikaah done on your engagement?

For some it’s so the couple can go out, and court openly before rukhsati (when the gal leaves her home to live with her husband)

Some see it as a halaal engagement, although Islam doesn’t have engagements as such. One of my FB friends just got nikaahfied, and put up her pics so it made me think.

I want my courting and meeting, and my love Inshallah to be as pure and wholesome as possible, I just thought I would say that.

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~ by Honest Waffle on 07/12/2009.

8 Responses to “The nikaahfied engagement”

  1. I think it’s a good idea, if both parties are sincere and they know this is preparation for the long term.

    But if it’s just a means of ‘halaal dating’ – with little thought that this is really a stepping stone to full-on marriage, then I don’t think that’s right.

  2. Dreamlife – I suppose, yes depends on your way of thinking. Personally though if I was to get my nikaah done, I think I would want to be with/live with my husband, and wouldn’t want to wait any longer than necessary. One of my friends is against the idea of this, because if your engagement was to break, it’s far worse to have be divorced. You should start as you mean to go on, and be sure of the person you’re giving your word to.

    Maybe it’s just an excuse for a huge party, but the issue of excess is another post in itself.

  3. Everything boils down to intention innit? I’m neither for nor against and will cross that bridge when I come to it 😉

  4. A nikafied engagement is an oxymoron, because once nikkah is done you are married, not engaged – if you want out for whatever reason you’d need to divorce.

  5. I agree with Sumera… I don’t understand why people still call it the engagement.

    Just as a passing thought, I only understand this concept if there are those problems of applying for a visa etc… otherwise, I hate the point parents make about getting the kids nikha-o-fied so they can date in a halal way. Marriage isn’t only about sex and enjoying each other’s company! I think two people who have publicly given each other their word and are engaged (NOT nikahofied) can understand each other to a certain degree without getting into fitnah. There’s a lot to talk about and understand about the other person than romantic nothings and what-do-you-eats.

    So, the whole nikah-at-the-engagement idea is moot as far as I’m concerned. Plus if you find you don’t get along, there’s ten times more stigma attached to divorce than is to breaking an engagement… no reason to burn your bridges behind you when you can fulfill the purpose without it.

  6. this kind of rings of the Shia ‘Nikah Mu’tah’ they have. and as Azra said it depends on intention. I don’t see the poing personally.

  7. I’d rather side with having an engagement and then do nikkah later at the wedding (or a few days before) but definitely not at the engagement because then its a marriage, not a bethrotal.

    You can still talk and meet up when engaged, meet in public places and let people know you’re going to see him/her -it doesnt have to be anything dodgy or kept hush hush, you’re not doing anything wrong if its kept above board.

  8. You’re blog is lovely. Thank you

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