I’m really happy for you

Honest.

I’m not a faker, I hate fakeness. It’s the other f word. I have no reason to lie about anything (except my weight and the exact number of shoes I have)

So one of my male friends rang me tonight, he’d returned from a trip to Pakistan, and on his way out there he was stopping in Dubai to see a girl for potential partner purposes. I would say we are fairly close. And before he went I wished him well etc, I really did mean it. So I asked him about his trip and how it went. He said he spoke to her for about half an hour, spent the afternoon with her family, and chatting to her sisters and that they all seemed a nice bunch. So I said ok, and?…

He said I’m going to marry her, I’ve said yes. I’m just waiting for them to accept now. My initial thought was 30 mins?! I said congratulations, that’s really good, I’m really happy for you. I know you’ve wanted to get married for a while. I meant it, I swear I did. We chatted a bit more about when he would possibly get married, this year…before Ramadan? Anyway, he had to go as his brother was calling him, he said he would ring back later. So he rings back and he said ‘You sounded disappointed when I told you, like you were heartbroken’.

(WHAT?!)

No I wasn’t. I mean, I’m not just saying that. I know he’s liked me and there was a point many years ago where we entertained the idea of a possible relationship leading to marriage etc. but I was the one who said no, and whilst on occasion he’s joked that ‘we could have had 5 babies by now if you weren’t so stubborn’. I’ve never thought anything of it. To be absolutely honest, I don’t think I could be friends with a guy I had any kind of feelings for in that way. I just think it gets emotional and messy and complicated and strange. I used to be in touch with my ex. He initiated contact after he got married, and whilst I can honestly say I felt nothing for him, a few times he would say rubbish like I miss you etc. I cut contact because I didn’t think it was healthy, and we couldn’t just ‘be friends’. I also felt like it wasn’t fair to his wife, who I had met once and am happy to say was a lot plumper than me.

I told him I wasn’t disappointed, I really was happy for him. I’m sorry if it sounded strange, that wasn’t what I meant at all.

Sometimes I just don’t get people.

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~ by Honest Waffle on 30/03/2010.

3 Responses to “I’m really happy for you”

  1. In my experience, Men and Women CANNOT be friends ESPECIALLY if they were involved even in the slightest degree… but thats just me. I have a story I’ll have to post re: an ex – but soon 😉

  2. hmm… sounds to me like he WANTED u to be upset, as though he entertained the idea tht u have some undisclosed feelings towards him?! anyway, odd/awkward situation… not sure what i would have said/done there :S

  3. Azra: I always hoped that people could be mature and adult enough to leave the past well alone, but I suppose you can’t erase an history. Had we been an ‘item’ as such I would have understood. I guess you need to be careful especially if there is an imbalance, where one likes the other and it’s not reciprocated. Trouble is though, that I don’t always get when people like me either, unless they say it loud and clear. I’m not very good on picking up so-called signals. I think I did a post about it a while ago.

    SF: Maybe, but maybe some guys, and girls are just like that. They like the thought of knowing/presuming/hoping that so and so really likes me. I just felt disappointed in him more than anything. He is such a nice guy, it’s almost like ‘I’m getting hitched, and settling down, but it would make me feel better if I knew you wanted me’.
    Dork.

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