Hijaabis prefer gentlemen

(As do all women I’m sure, I just couldn’t think of a title)

I was reading another post which reminded me of my own past experience.

The blogger was saying that she felt miffed about her OH not staying on the phone with her until she got home. She said it was about seven minutes walk, and he went off the phone at five.

Anyway. Many years ago I was seeing a guy for shaadi purposes, things had been going well, except we’d had a falling out over something or another. I can’t recall now what it was. He said he was going to come to Edinburgh to see me to sort it out.

He did come. With his hot female friend in tow which really, really wound me up. He said he needed company for the six hour drive. Fair enough I thought, I’m open-minded and can see they’re just friends. (*spits*)

Anyway, it was during the festival fringe, and there was a group of five of us in total, and at the end of a very long evening, I asked if he would drive me to the car park where I had left my car. It was almost 5am by this point. He took me there, and stopped the car about ten yards away from it. I asked if he wouldn’t mind driving me in as it was on the 5th storey.He said, ‘but I’m going to have to pay to get out.’

I think the look on my face said it all.

I opened the door, and he said I’ll take you, and I slammed his door shut and went off by myself. It was too late, the damage was done.

That was the last straw for me. I was so hurt that he couldn’t care about my safety, yes fine it was only a car park, but it’s known to be frequented by junkies, and I hadn’t intended to be staying out so long. And in any case, I thought he would be with me so I’d be ok.

I was so disappointed.

I have friends who walk me to my car when we’re out, and get me to text when I arrive home. I drop off friends to their door, and wait till they’re inside before driving away. My best male friend will text me if he knows I’m out late to see if I’ve got home okay, and he lives in another continent.

And yet this guy who supposedly ‘cared’ for me? Who wanted marriage (I’d even spoken to his Mum)

What’s done is done, but did I expect too much?


~ by Honest Waffle on 05/12/2010.

9 Responses to “Hijaabis prefer gentlemen”

  1. I would’ve done the same thing you did :s

  2. Haha, silly thing to get ‘badly hurt’, the female company was worse IMHO.

  3. The only thing you did wrong was to take so long in establishing this kind of thing. I know it’s easy to make snap judgements about someone, but it doesn’t take too long to establish how considerate they are and most certainly should have been figured out before “speaking to his mum” or whatever.

    And also: what were you doing leaving your car on the fifth floor of a parking lot frequented by junkies? It’s a bit like me making a deliberate mess to see how well a potential rishta will clear it up. If you want others to be considerate then you have to do it first, otherwise it’s just imposing. I would never claim to be a gentleman myself, but I wouldn’t paid in this situation either (although I would aimed to ensure their safety in another way).

    • Shak – Hmmm. People reveal different facets of themselves over time. When I’d chatted to his Mum previously, all was ok. Our falling out was about another issue, it was a make or break, and he came to talk it out.

      I had to park there because I couldn’t find anywhere else, after looking and circling around quite a lot. I hadn’t planned to stay out so late, we ended up watching some fringe shows, and eating. At one point I said, I should go move my car somewhere closer, and he said that it’s be okay, we’ll deal with it later.

      I didn’t ask him to pay. I certainly didn’t expect him to. Had he driven in, I would have likely paid for it anyway, as I would have
      been paying for my own. (Assuming there was even a charge for a quick entry and exit)

  4. “It’s a bit like me making a deliberate mess to see how well a potential rishta will clear it up”

    Hmmmm….wish I had thought of that

  5. I’m glad you found it out beforehand 🙂
    cool may have the initial attraction down pat- but nice….Nice stays.

    (and what kind of idiot brings a female friend to meet a girl?!)

  6. Salam, just wanted to say I found your blog today (your username intrigued me lol) and I was so captivated by it that I spent the entire afternoon reading all your posts. (I’m on a 3 month holiday)

    You are clever, honest and witty – how refreshing! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your entire blog and I hope you won’t stop even after you find Mr. Right one day inshaAllah =)

  7. Assalamualaikum sis,

    I just realised that you have a blog! I’ve checked your profile before but always assumed that you didnt have one. Yay! MashaAllah I love the way you write.

    SubhanAllah I can’t believe the guy. We Muslim women deserve BETTER!

    Anyway, just letting you know that I’ve changed the url of my blog. It is now http://allmywonderswhy.blogspot.com/

    You might have to follow me again. Sorry for the inconvenience!

    I’m also having a giveaway so don’t miss out! 🙂

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